You Had Me From Your Smile
by Traci
Summary: Harm goes on a dangerous mission. Character death


Disclaimer: Not mine. 'Nough said.  
  
Rating: Um, PG?  
  
Category: Er, um, let's just say you might need to have some kleenex handy hehehe.  
  
Author's notes: I was bored and the opening lines just hit me…the rest wrote itself…wish it had typed itself too.  
  
Feedback: PLEASE!!! traci_ann@yahoo.com  
  
  
  
You Had Me From Your Smile  
  
  
  
'I never knew how much I'd miss you so. But I do. Each and every day, every second, my heart longs for you. My eyes yern to see your beauty before me. You asked why you were the only one crying when I left. You weren't. My tears were flooding me inside. An officer isn't supposed to cry, remember? Guess I learned that lesson too well. As much as it tears me apart to see tears in your wonderful, incredible brown eyes, it is also a relief – it reminds me you are human and not a military machine. I don't know how long I will be gone. I don't know when and if I will come back but if I do, I will wait no more. My heart is in your hands. My life is yours. My soul, my soul belongs to you. I don't know if you will ever read this, but I know if you do it is because I did not return alive. Mac, Sarah, I have loved you from the moment you shook my hand in the rose garden. I lost myself to you when you reached out to me from the helicopter at Mesa Rock. To quote a movie, "You had me from Hello." If I don't return from this mission know this, you had me before hello, you had me from your smile.'  
  
Forever Yours,  
  
Harm  
  
LtCmdr. Harmon Rabb read over the letter one last time before sealing it in the envelope addressed to Major Sarah Mackenzie. Sighing, he placed it among his personal items that would no doubt be sorted through should he not return. Hoping above all hope that she would never have to read it, he slipped it between the letters to his mother and grandmother and Little AJ.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"Yes, Ensign?" Harm asked, startled by the young officer standing in his doorway.  
  
"There's a call for you."  
  
Harm knew who it was. He didn't have to ask. He followed the Ensign. "Harm speaking."  
  
"Hi, Flyboy."  
  
Harm could feel the beating of his heart increase as he pictured the smile across his former partner's face. "Hey yourself, Ninja Girl. What are you doing calling me this time of night?"  
  
There was a long pause before he received any kind of response.  
  
"Mac?"  
  
"I heard about the mission they are sending you on."  
  
He sank in a nearby chair. He hadn't meant for her to find out. Not until he was already on the way.  
  
"Harm, it's suicide." She fought to control the quiver in her voice. "Why are you doing this?"  
  
"I have to," he whispered, acid tears stingy his eyes.  
  
"I somehow knew that was going to be your reply." She paused again. "Remember when you left, when we said our goodbyes in your office."  
  
"How could I forget?"  
  
"I never got to say all the things I wanted to."  
  
"Mac…"  
  
"Harm, I thought I would have the chance to tell them to you. I'm scared now. I don't know if I'll ever get that chance again."  
  
Harm was biting his inner cheek to keep from losing it. He suspected Mac was doing the same. "Sarah, I know. You don't have to…"  
  
"I love you, Harm," she whispered.  
  
Time seemed to stop. He wanted nothing more than to climb through the phone and hold her in his arms and never let go.  
  
"Harm?"  
  
"I have loved you forever, Sarah." His heart shattered at the soft sounds of her choked sobs on the other end. "I'll be back before you know it and we can start out lives together, if that's what you want."  
  
"I would like that."  
  
One of the other pilots poked his head in the office. "Rabb, it's time." Harm nodded and waited till the man left.  
  
"You have to go."  
  
Suddenly his choices did not seem to have been right. Why had he ever left JAG? Why had he ever left her? "I'll be back. I promise."  
  
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Flyboy," her voice could hold out no longer.  
  
"Shhh, Sarah. I will always be with you. Always. Everywhere."  
  
"You'd better go."  
  
"I love you, Ninja Girl."  
  
"I love you, Flyboy."  
  
"I have to go now. Goodbye."  
  
"Not goodbye, never goodbye," she corrected. "Till next time."  
  
"Till next time."  
  
Slowly, reluctantly, he hung up the phone and went to get dressed.  
  
  
  
'I never knew how much I'd miss you so. But I do. Each and every day, every second, my heart longs for you. My eyes yern to see your beauty before me. You asked why you were the only one crying when I left. You weren't. My tears were flooding me inside. An officer isn't supposed to cry, remember? Guess I learned that lesson too well. As much as it tears me apart to see tears in your wonderful, incredible brown eyes, it is also a relief – it reminds me you are human and not a military machine. I don't know how long I will be gone. I don't know when and if I will come back but if I do, I will wait no more. My heart is in your hands. My life is yours. My soul, my soul belongs to you. I don't know if you will ever read this, but I know if you do it is because I did not return alive. Mac, Sarah, I have loved you from the moment you shook my hand in the rose garden. I lost myself to you when you reached out to me from the helicopter at Mesa Rock. To quote a movie, "You had me from Hello." If I don't return from this mission know this, you had me before hello, you had me from your smile.'  
  
Forever Yours,  
  
Harm  
  
Mac's tears stained the well-worn letter in her hand as she read it once again in the silence of her darkened apartment.  
  
The End.  
  
Sorry, had to go with the angst. It just happened. 


End file.
